Amelia Bedelia Goes to the Smithsonian

Okay well, not exactly Amelia Bedelia. But for some odd reason, I thought of her when my clumsy feet tripped off an early afternoon plane in Washington, D.C., on my way to a FINRA Compliance Conference (explanation to follow) with the single-minded goal of seeing my third of a total of 17 Smithsonian museums in the D.C. area.

(There's a such thing as the International Spy Museum!)

For work, I'm a compliance officer. I was really bored with it until after this conference. Call me a rules geek, but it was rather inspiring to have so very many FINRA regulators come in and talk to my seminar of 30-some people about the whys and hows. Good golly, none of you have any idea what I'm talking about. Okay...FINRA stands for Financial Industry Regulatory Authority. They govern brokerage companies, among other types of entities, as does the SEC (Securities Exchange Commission). Eric has succinctly pointed out this acronym actually ends up being FIRA instead of FINRA, but you know, it wouldn't sound as cool without the "fin," like shark fins. Sharks are cool and teeth are kind of sexy. (I've been reading the Twilight series...) Moving on. So, I'm like a five-month-old internal cop for my concentrated little educational segment of TD AMERITRADE, and that's why I came to this compliance seminar. So I could have a growth spurt and would know what I'm talking when I have to, I don't know, make someone comply with something. So I came and the seminar was long and vigorous but quite interesting, and I left with a pile of business cards, and I noticed some holes in our procedures, and now I am SO READY to take on those holes and fix them and make sure we are perfectly compliant from here on out.

(Cool American folk art)

But before I went to that conference, I spent Tuesday afternoon in downtown D.C.'s Judiciary Square. FIRST, my cabbie was from Guatemala City. That was neat--I talked with him a little in my garbled Spanish, just for fun and practice, and I told him Eric and I were in southern Mexico and near the border of Guatemala in August of 2005. He got excited and said he'd been filming a movie there around that time. So, making conversation, I said lightheartedly (BTW, we're in English by now), "Wow! Hey, maybe I was accidentally an extra in one of your movies, you know, in the background." And he immediately glared at me in the rearview and ground out "No! I don't make those kinds of movies! I make children's movies! Not X-rated movies!" *pause* "You like X-rated movies?"

WHAT??

I have been over and over this conversation in my head, and I am SURE I didn't say anything even remotely closely related to X-rated movies. Who assumes that?? Seriously! And not only did he assume that and react rather violently, he hedged his bet by asking afterward if I liked those kinds of films??? BLEGH. I quickly clarified that I had not been talking about that at all, and to avoid any other sort of "miscommunication," I noticeably toned down the conversation.

And he still dropped me off at the wrong museum.

He took me to the National Gallery of Art (I think?) instead of the Smithsonian's American Art Museum (see, the title does have some relevance here). So after he ran my card and I ran the hell away, I walked seven more blocks to where I'd originally asked to be and hadn't realized I wasn't. I might not have minded, but the NGA looked really boring--portraits and still lifes and other soporific types of art towards which I am not usually inclined, although I do laud the artists.

(MY kind of art--textured, touchable, bizarre stuff, like this useful devil's head jug.)
(Aside: I didn't actually touch it.)

The Smith's American Art Museum was LOVELY! My favorite was the folk art section. Oh, they had your usual fare of oil paintings a la Civil War era, and ancient Egyptian jugs, and bronze statuettes, but I was really interested in the multi-dimensional, rough-hewn, amateur-but-awesome stuff by unknown artists that are so hard to find. But here, here they all were, in collaboration!

I didn't really go in with the intention of seeing anything in particular, but I got to see the original Barack Obama HOPE poster, by Shepherd Fairey. That was pretty cool.

And I saw a portrait of the woman who wrote the Battle Hymn of the Republic, Julia Ward Howe.


(Glory, glory Hallelujah, the troops go marching on...remember that?)

I saw a portrait of Abe Lincoln because last month was his birthday (also Darwin's!) and a piano painted with gorgeous Victorian scenes.

(Eric is convinced this piano used to belong to Liberace. Supposedly it's cursed...?)






And the last floor I visited boasted interesting contemporary art, including the following driftwood horse and chandelier composed of children's toys.




I'm glad I got to do something touristy on my business trip! That's all, folks.